My mum calls me up around 9 am on July 7, 2007, informing me that a daughter of a family friend of ours was getting married later that day, telling me it would be nice to go (see wayo! the woman was looking for a driver). I knew I could say no, but hey! she's my mum. Called her back to tell her I'd pick her up and we'd go together.
If you are familiar with Lagos, let me tell you what the journey entailed: I live in one part of town, my parents stay in another and the wedding was in Iju (what a trip) and I had to drop her at home before getting back to mine ( and did I mention that it was a rainy day and the traffic was amazing?)
My plan actually had been to pay a visit to my folks that day as I hadn't seen my mum for about five weeks (had been in the UK on vacation for two weeks and hadn't seen her since I got back), so I guess you can say "things wotrked out"
Well, I've always had a "cat and dog" relationship with my mum, so moving out in December 2006 did a lot to help our relationship. This way I knew I could get the hell out if she got on my nerves.
To be quite frank actually, the journey with her that day was interesting. My mum has a comment for everything (actually, we as her children suffer that), so the issue of me still being unmarried at almost 32 came up (AGAIN!!). My maternal grandma has joined the rally as well.
My mum told me that my time has run (at 31?). I was so amused I laughed. I told her I'm the more attractive bred now (nothing like matured fine wine) and for goodness sake, I'm just 31 (give me a break).
So I have issues: I refuse to be pressurised into this whole marriage thing. To be honest, if I wanted to get married today, I would (I mean he has been on my case for almost a year) but is that what I really want?
Am I asking for too much if I want to be happy and hope that I get it right? My idea of marriage is that the woman seems to have give up so so much (name, move house, change religion {hello!!you think I can't make a decision where my spiritual life is concerned}-the list is endless) and I don't want to lose my individuality. I need someone who would respect that and be supportive.
I have a fairly stubborn streak (won't even bother to argue with you especially if I'm sure I have facts on my side), so I need someone who accepts the good, the bad & ugly I present (and I know I can do the same too.
But at the end of the day, I do believe I'm scared of that level of commitment (you know, I can come up with a million reason, like the ones I stated above, but I really think that's it).
I once asked "him" (by the way, I'm not even dating him) how easy it was for him to know that he wanted to marry me and he gave me a whole bunch of reasons (lucky him) and here I am as the woman "dilly-dallying", despite the fact that we are often reminded that our "biological clock" is ticking away (what happened to adopting a child and loving it totally?-children are gifts, no matter what form they come in).
I want to be happy (is that too much to ask for??).
By the time I tell my mum, I'm planning to travel out for a masters degree, the woman may just have a heart attack.
I seem to be a LOST CASE!!!
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