Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Reflections: How does one remain upbeat?

I have been in a particular department for all of my working life and about to make a change to another department. Not averse to change (and I honestly think it would be an exciting change) but having to do it now because my department is about to become "hell on earth" and I'm fortunate enough to have an escape route.

My present HOD is leaving by the end of the month and her 2-I-C (2nd in command) is taking over. Unfortunately, I reported to him for a while and we had our differences, which I honestly thought were addressed (let's forget that he has the habit of sending queries once I take a breath or during appraisal period, refused to recommend me for promotion {which thankfully I still got despite his opposition} or that my unit was now being run based on cliques {my people vs the others})

Truth is that like every other person, I have my issues with people (some I like, some I dislike) but I'm not a petty person by nature and truly do not bear grudges, but that un4tun8ly doesn't apply to 2-I-C. I was a bit taken aback to learn that he has verbally expressed how much he dislikes me (haba! i expected better! He's a Manager-why give me the time of day? Didn't realise I was that important) and his opportunity to make life hell has arisen.

As the Good Lord will have it, I have been "okayed" to move.

It just makes me reflect on a lot of things. I'm easily irritable, get turned off people so I just withdraw from them. I don't even bother being friendly. I just make sure you don't matter but have I ever been so petty? I don't want to think so.

I have always belonged to the school of thought that even if someone has so wronged me, that I so hate him/her, I don't want to dwell on it; I don't want to give the other party so much power over me and need to move on to other more important issues.

It now scares me that someone feels this strongly about me, worse, @ work (where I spend most of my life) and worst, my boss (who could make this place hell for me), although if I know myself, I'll resist (that's what got me in his bad books in the first place).

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